What do you do all day?

That same question has angered, overwhelmed, confused, and upset me, all at the same time. I haven’t written in a long time because I’ve been focused on other opportunities but adding job hunting to my already crazy corporate world has taken a big toll on me.

I’ve been experiencing the emotional roller coaster of job hunting. You know, getting your hopes up after a phone interview then not hearing for 2 weeks, then finally contacting them to get an email reply that says they have found a “candidate that better fits their qualifications and has more experience.” Dagger.

Add in the fact that work has been emotionally draining, a death in the family that I cannot be there for because flights cost an arm, a leg, some DNA, hair extensions, and feeling friendless, I’m pretty much one post away from pulling a coach and quitting on the spot (but I know I’d never have the guts to do it).

The most recent work drama actually occurred at a happy hour. I was catching up with a coworker and coach (whom I haven’t seen since she quit). It started out as normal girl talk and drinks until my coworker said “Oh I meant to tell you somethings about work…”

Long story short, basically people at work have been questioning what I do all day, why I’m at the company, why the company has spent thousands of dollars on video and Mac equipment and I’ve only made 2 videos, complaining of me being quiet during meetings, why I ask for help (from IT) when I’m supposed to be some expert know-it-all fresh from college and I should know how to do those things, etc.

Needless to say it was not the happiest of hours. I was hurt, angry, discouraged, disappointed, broken, and needed a massive refill of my margarita. Hearing my good friend say these things that people who do not even know me have said, really solidified the fact that I do not fit in with my current company. Clearly other people do not have guts to tell people things to their face but have really big opinions. I can break down each of these complaints and pose an argument…

1. What do I do all day? Honestly, any tasks that Ursula has given me has been completed. However, I find myself a lot of the time looking for things to keep myself busy because Ursula does not give me tasks everyday. She also has not provided guidance to me since I’ve started so taking my own initiative in an industry and company that I know nothing about is what I’ve been doing. I am fully prepared to give anyone a list of tasks I’ve done in the past, such as the newsletter, social media management, flyers and brochures, birthday cards, and more.

2. I want direction. I’ve had a video marketing proposal done since October that no one has seen before because it, along with our marketing proposal, never happened. I have ideas for videos but I need direction and collaboration. This is supposed to be a team effort, not just me so that my friend, is why there have been only 2 videos. So until we starting collaborating, the video equipment and my proposal will probably remain still.

3. People have said I’m too quiet and do not say a thing in meetings, which I have talked about in previous posts because I was upset about this fact. But, yes that is true, I am quiet during meetings because I have no idea what they are talking about. If I was included on emails prior to the meeting, I would be more involved. I am quiet because I am trying to learn about whatever the subject that they are speaking of and have failed to inform me on. My quietness is not defiance, it is listening, try it.

4.  I never came into the job saying “I was a video expert” or “I am a know-it-all.” I just graduated college, I am an expert beer bonger and hangover healer. You assumed that I was an expert at these new media aspects because Ursula does not know how to do any of them. I came in with the attitude that I want to learn as much as I can so when you want to teach me, please do so because I will be ready to listen. I think these complainers have been listening to Ursula talk behind my back and giving people false impressions of me.

5. One of the IT (yes Information Technology) guys has been complaining about why I ask him for help. I ask him for help when it comes to editing photographs and signatures. I do not have Photoshop on my computer, despite my attempts to get it, so I cannot edit photographs. I do not know how one edits signatures but I am willing to learn so please sensei teach me before you complain about me.

I apologize for the vent and slightly bitchy tone of voice but I cannot stand having my work ethic questioned by 1. people who do not know the situation 2. people who do not know me (yes that’s my inner Bon Qui Qui) 3. people who have no idea what they are talking about. I should not have to come into work wondering who is watching me or having justify myself to everyone.

I feel like work is this mind game where I am being watched and have to read people’s minds to find out what the right thing to do is. I already feel like I can’t be myself, now I can never do any thing right because I’m constantly being beat down. Let’s just say my “Can’t keep me down” playlist has been playing on repeat. Also, I really should make a “Stay positive” drinking game because if I took a shot every time someone told me to do that, I’m be drunk all the time.

Optimistically Postive

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming…

After a weekend of bridal functions such as a bachelorette party, a bridal shower (both of which were a surprise), and a bridesmaid dress fitting (for a different wedding), I am back and will be regularly writing. On a side note, my first events as a bridesmaid went beautifully and I am so excited for the upcoming nuptials.

Keeping with the excitement and happiness, a fellow Viking, Lisa Phillips (@WkaFlkaPhillips) gave my the inspiration for this post. She asked, “There has to be some positives of post grad/working life, right?” And that got me thinking, “Alex, stop focusing on the drama at work for once and focus on what is positive.” Thank goodness my self is so smart. So here are the positives of being a recent graduate in the working world.

First of all, there is no homework. Try and grasp your mind around this okay? You leave work, come home, and you do not have to bring home any work. You’re done. There is no studying, writing papers, grades, tests, etc. It’s a beautiful thing to know that homework does not exist because work does not exist at your home (unless you work from home but that’s a different story). However, still utilize your time management skills, they’re crucial.

Secondly, you get paid to be there. During college, you pay them for you to go there. At work, they pay you to be there. Hopefully it is something that you are remotely interested in and you enjoy some aspects of your job. The fact that you get paid money to be at work is much better than spending a large, debt-accumulating amount of money to go to class. Paid vacation is even better, it’s like heaven.

Thirdly, you had to know I was going to mention happy hour? It’s my favorite time of the day. You are encouraged to go. I mean it is considered networking right?

The fourth positive is for my ladies and fashionably-inlcined men. You get to experience a whole new yuppie-chic wardrobe. You can look cute for a reason. Yes, wearing yoga pants everyday to class was great but putting some effort into your appearance makes you feel good. H&M, New York and Company, and Express have super cute clothes. In the words of Tim Gunn, “make it work!”

Lastly, there is a whole new respect level for us. I know it’s a hard, transitional period but there is hope. We’re supposed to be finding ourselves and learning everything we can. There is still so much ahead of us that our first job is supposed to be where we act as a sponge and absorb all the information we can. People do respect that you are trying and willing to learn. Yes, even after college the learning doesn’t stop but you can also learn at your pace and choose what you want to learn more about. Having this freedom allows us to become the professional that we want to be in the future.

If you can never find a positive, there is always wine. Happy hump day!

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Sniffleupagus

As if being a work isn’t bad enough, try adding a stuffy/runny nose, sore throat, and the voice of Peter Brady during puberty and that pretty much describes me today. Yup, I was that guy who constantly blew their nose every 5 seconds (sorry not sorry).

So that leads me to this post: How not to get sick at work!

1. Stay away from the sicklings! Rule of thumb says to stay at least 6 feet away from a sick person so cut the hugs and opt for an air five!

2. Wash your hands. Um duh. That’s self explanatory. 

3. Clorox your cubicle. Clorox wipes are will kill all of the germs on your desk that are waiting to infect you. Germs are everywhere so arm yourself against them!

4. Cover your mouth when you sneeze and/or cough. Another kindergarten lesson. If you do not to this regularly, that’s just foul. 

5. If you get sick, stay home! It’s not the ideal day off but it’s a reason to be lazy. 

Now my friends, I’m going to make myself a nightcap of some NyQuil, a spritz of Mucinex, and topped with some throat drops.Image

Friday at 5: 5 resolutions for newly-hired college grads

I know New Year’s has already passed but it’s never too late to make a resolution. For those of your like me and exploring the depths of corporate america, you’re focused on trying to do your best. These resolutions will help you stay focused and make a lasting impression.

1. Learn one thing from every coworker. We learn 65% of what we know from coworker. Whether it’s a piece of advice, a fun fact, or a life lesson, you can learn so many things from the people around you. Learning one thing from all of your fellow coworkers makes you a better and well-rounded person.

2. Do one new thing each week. You won’t grow and improve if you don’t challenge yourself. I personally challenge myself through my creativity. I try and create flyers from scratch or write social media posts using SEO. Just because you do the same things at your job everyday, does not mean that you should plateau. Challenge yourself to push yourself further. Adding to your skill set only makes you more valuable.

3. Clear off your desk! The more stuff you have on your desk, the more frantic, frazzled and frenzied you’ll feel. You desk is sort of symbolic to your life, clutter desk, cluttered life. So declutter your desk and take steps towards organization and tranquility. Also, add some  personal or homey touches, such as family pictures or cute decorations, to your desk so you feel more comfortable and relaxed.

4. Designate at least 1 hour each day to not think or talk about anything work related. We spend, on average, 100,000 hours working in our lifetime. Now, we may not be able to vacay in the Caribbean every weekend but give yourself a break, enough said. You deserve it.

5. Network. Network. Network. Did I say network? Get out there and make connections and build relationships. Attend everything from happy hours, expos, open house, etc. We know this but ultimately it’s not what you know, it’s who. People talk and the more people you meet, they more you will be known. Building a network is catalyst for success. I’m a true advocate of happy hour, I mean it’s a win-win situation!

BONUS: Today I met with our company coach and he went over my Hogan Assessment. It’s basically a test that shows what kind of reputation you’ll have as an employee and your strengths and weaknesses. I strongly suggest that everyone take it. It predicts you what kind of work environment you like, what kind of employee you are, how you handle situations, etc. Because I do not have much experience in the real world, learning these things about myself was beneficial.

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Have a fabulous weekend y’all!

2 weeks notice bucket list

Fun fact of the day: I beat the CEO, company coach, and jack of all trades in to work this morning! How ’bout them apples?!

Now back to your regular scheduled programming. 

We are 3 days into post-coach work environment and quite frankly, work is really mellow now. I’m not saying that it still is not frustrating. I still feel like I’m walking on egg shells but there is not a wall of tension in the department. There has also been no drama, which is nice. However, with work being so dare I say “calm,” I have little writing material but fear not, I shave some ideas about topics in my noggin. 

Let’s paint the scene. You just gave your boss your two weeks notice (hopefully you have a new job) and they are probably not happy about it. However, that is little of your concern because you’re leaving anyway! Here are some ideas of tasks or activities to accomplish before you leave the company AKA the 2 weeks notice bucket list.

1. Throw a pile of papers up in the air in the middle of the room and watch them fall. 

2. Wear sweatpants to work.

3. Have a couple (I mean like at least 5) brewskis at lunch with your favorite coworkers.

4. Give your boss a piece of your mind (hey what are exit interviews for?).

5. Two words: office pranks. Enough said.

6. Raid the supply closet.

7. Create an out of office message on your last day saying “See ya never!”

8. To those people who made your job miserable, photoshop their face on Mama June’s body form Honey Boo and post around the office. I recommend the Bingo Face

9. Send a goodbye email. Think of it as your graduation speech. 

10. Deliver flowers to yourself to show that “you’ll be missed.”

These are the things that I come up with at work. I am the definition of productivity. Comment below if you have any other ideas!

Oh and another fun fact of the day: we still have not presented our marketing proposal. I hope I can video tape that meeting. Anyway, Dance Moms is about to come on. Some people use sex, others use alcohol and drugs but  I need reality television to feel good about myself. 

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Scare Tactics

Happy lazy Sunday everyone. Sunday is honestly one of my favorite days, probably top 3 behind Saturday and Friday night. However, the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to work just ruins everything. If I didn’t have to work Monday-Friday, Sunday would be kicked out of the top 6.

Anyway, on Friday Mutey Mute and I had our first one-on-one “meeting” post Coach quitting. I guess I can’t call her Mutey Mute since she spoke to me. Her new nickname will be the Ursula because she is more power-hungry than the sea witch who wanted all of Trident’s kingdom. This meeting was just for Ursula to reiterate that this is a dictatorship

Her favorite battle strategy to use is scare tactics. Telling me that my internet, emails, and IMs are being monitored after she scolding me for long lunches and coming in late was the majority of the presentation (meetings are more group discussions, presentations are more one-sided). Oh and if I am late, I have to make up those hours but if I take off, I cannot make up those hours (because that makes sense).

This presentation of how much I suck proved to me that the same rules that apply to me do not apply to Ursula. I was always the first one in the marketing department in the mornings, I am on Facebook because I post to the company’s FB, and during the last month, I have been at work more than Ursula. I’ve learned not to follow by example because I was scolded by Ursula for things that Ursula does everyday.

So now my goal is to steal the Trident back be the example of perfection amongst all employees. Challenge accepted. I will be there before 8am, leave at exactly 5:00:01, and time my lunches with my iPhone. As for internet usage, I have an iPhone so Internet Explorer is just obsolete. I will let her think she’s one but really I’m an just playing the game

Tomorrow is the first day after my fall from grace. I used to be the marketing assistant caught in the middle of the drama, and now I’m “her” assistant forced to be the definition of perfection. Lots of coffee and alcohol.