The countdown begins…

Well I can finally say it… I gave my two weeks notice yesterday!! I was nervous as hell but I handed Ursula my letter of resignation, told her I was “homesick” and that my last day would be April 10th. The amount of relief I feel is probably equivalent to that of lying in a cabana with a Pina Colada while looking at the Caribbean. 

She was actually somewhat nice because she probably feels like “she has won.” BUT in the long run, I know I’ve won. All the blood, sweat, tears, vents, happy hours, bitch fits, etc. were all worth it because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Now I can be ignored for a reason!

I am actually being ignored and I wouldn’t notice it so much, if I wasn’t watching the paint dry on the walls. I walked through some of my duties with the receptionist, whom I might add did not take notes, but that was the extent of my day. I did, however, take some joy in the fact that she did not take note. Have fun with your new pet Ursula, I’ll be sitting here counting the fibers in the carpet!

Tomorrow marks 17 days until I’m out of the job from hell, Arizona which is at times hot as hell, and away from the Ursula, the boss of hell. A reflection of my time is soon to come, until then keep on keeping on people!Image

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Scare Tactics

Happy lazy Sunday everyone. Sunday is honestly one of my favorite days, probably top 3 behind Saturday and Friday night. However, the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to work just ruins everything. If I didn’t have to work Monday-Friday, Sunday would be kicked out of the top 6.

Anyway, on Friday Mutey Mute and I had our first one-on-one “meeting” post Coach quitting. I guess I can’t call her Mutey Mute since she spoke to me. Her new nickname will be the Ursula because she is more power-hungry than the sea witch who wanted all of Trident’s kingdom. This meeting was just for Ursula to reiterate that this is a dictatorship

Her favorite battle strategy to use is scare tactics. Telling me that my internet, emails, and IMs are being monitored after she scolding me for long lunches and coming in late was the majority of the presentation (meetings are more group discussions, presentations are more one-sided). Oh and if I am late, I have to make up those hours but if I take off, I cannot make up those hours (because that makes sense).

This presentation of how much I suck proved to me that the same rules that apply to me do not apply to Ursula. I was always the first one in the marketing department in the mornings, I am on Facebook because I post to the company’s FB, and during the last month, I have been at work more than Ursula. I’ve learned not to follow by example because I was scolded by Ursula for things that Ursula does everyday.

So now my goal is to steal the Trident back be the example of perfection amongst all employees. Challenge accepted. I will be there before 8am, leave at exactly 5:00:01, and time my lunches with my iPhone. As for internet usage, I have an iPhone so Internet Explorer is just obsolete. I will let her think she’s one but really I’m an just playing the game

Tomorrow is the first day after my fall from grace. I used to be the marketing assistant caught in the middle of the drama, and now I’m “her” assistant forced to be the definition of perfection. Lots of coffee and alcohol.