PCD: Post College Depression

People are in the middle of the streets chanting Seven Nation Army. Purple and black are everywhere to be seen. Natty Boh man is dancing while encouraging the crowd to cheer.

That only describes a fraction of Baltimore last night after the Ravens won the SuperBowl. This time last year, I was a senior at Towson University, which is only 14.5 miles away from Baltimore. Needless to say, I’m really upset that I couldn’t be there for the experience of Baltimore after SuperBowl 47.

Baltimore winning the Lombardi trophy was just another instance that reminded me how much I miss college. Even though my senior year wasn’t ideal, I went through a rough break up, lived with and lost two of best friends because they ended up being totally different people than I thought they were, stop playing volleyball, and some other things that would constitute another post, I missed college so much that I went through a depression during the summer after graduation.

Being unemployed meant waking up, signing on my computer, and looking up/applying to every job I could on Indeed.com or CareerBuildering.com (repeat every day 5 times a day). I sent over 500 emails that summer, emails that probably went to the black hole somewhere in internet space.

I didn’t have money to go out all the time and quite honestly, I did not feel like going out. I just wanted to find a job and start my “post graduate life.” It was so discouraging and disappointing. That summer was one of the hardest summers I’ve ever gone through. Both of my parents were worried about me because for once in my life, they didn’t know what the future held for me.

Then in August, I finally got the job in Scottsdale, AZ. I thought the depression would be over. I cut people out of my life who did not put in any effort to be in it and I was ready to start the “post college chapter.” As it turns out, the depression was not over. I found out that I became not only depressed, but miserable and resentful because I was in a completely new place where I didn’t know anyone and I hated my job.

I would see pictures of my friends, on Instagram or Facebook, out having fun and hanging out and I became jealous and I resented them for that. Even the friends who I had cut out of my life made me miss my college life. It was hard to be happy and have a positive attitude when I felt so left out and alone.

However, I have realized that I am not alone. The friends who had stuck by me and the few friends who I have met in Arizona, have gotten my through this post college depression by being there to listen to me when I need it, no matter what. My parents and family have never left my side and they will do anything in their power to make me happy, even if my mom did not want to answer my phone calls because I was so miserable and unhappy about work.

My dad visited this weekend and we came up with a potential “game plan,” I’ll call it, Operation Joy, and he reminded me how amazing my family is. I should not feel alone or depressed because I’m about to start the new, new chapter of my life. I have a lot to look forward to and that helps me make the best of today.

My friend Katie told me today, “Yeah, I always get jealous of them but when I visit it’s always like we never left each other so I can’t wait for it to be that way again!!” I could not agree with her more. No matter how bad things are or how much they changed, my friends and family remain the constant factor that get me by. It also helps knowing that I’m not the only one who went through this.

I know this isn’t like a normal blog post and more like a sentimental heart-to-heart but the SuperBowl last night really solidified how not only how much I miss everyone but how much I appreciate them. Those players who fought so hard for something just reached the highest goal of the NFL. With the support and love of my family, I can reach my goals, as well. Surround yourself with encouraging, positive, and loving people and you’ll be able to get through anything.

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